I'm so vain...

Vanity should have been my first name. I don't know where they got Carolyn, but I don't think it really fits. There are a few reasons to support my claim. And don't get me wrong I do not think I am one of the pretty people. I am weird looking at best, and it seems like those who do find my face pleasing are, well, just as weird as me.

I bring this up today because I just spent a considerable amount of time attempting to capture my newest facebook profile. Of course I was watching the kids, I made them spaghetti in fact! But during the moments when my hands were free, I was mugging for the built in camera.

I don't know why I am obsessed with my face. I know that I want to feel good about how I look. I wear make up almost every day. (Because I like it.) I do my hair every day. I put a modicum of effort into outfits.

I am terrible at exercising and eat entirely too much, but I do care about how I look.

So. When I take a bad picture... I take another.

And Another.

And Another.

And Another.

If I have any control over what people think I look like, I'm putting my best face forward even if it takes 67 digital recordings to capture it.

This one, my chin is huge, this one, my nose is too wide, my skin looks sallow, I have a double chin, I have chubby cheeks, my freckles are looking like age spots, my scar is gross, my eyes are crossed, my teeth are too small, my wrinkles look deep, my hair is flat, my hair is poofy, my fingers look like sausages, my fat roll is showing. I blinked. I usually get three good pictures out of at least 20. When I say 20 you can be sure I mean 67.

I just wish I had that kind of editing power over other peoples cameras. I just flipped though my sister in law's photos from Saturday night and they were down right depressing. My mother in law was nice. 'You could never look bad' But two things, if that is how I really look, its amazing people do not vomit when I come in the room and 2. I can't trust anyone who says I'm a nice looking person. Its a lonely world when you can't trust the people who think you are ugly AND those who think you're not.

One thing I've got going for me... I can be irresistibly sexy. And 'Sexy' and 'Good Looking' do not necessarily go hand in hand, look at, well pretty much any male rock star.

Anyway, its time to wrap this up. Hope you are all well. And here's to a generous photographer, next time you say cheese.